


It's Gonna Be Ok

by Uchiha_Blood



Category: Naruto, Naruto Shippuden
Genre: M/M, suicide TW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 05:44:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4992553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uchiha_Blood/pseuds/Uchiha_Blood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lord Uzumaki, the seventh Hokage of Konoha, is away on an important business trip, leaving his suicidal, depressed husband, Sasuke, behind. Sasuke promised Naruto he could handle it, but after restless sleep and nightmares, things change for the worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Everything was dark. Not a ray of sunlight came through the heavy curtains this early in the morning. It was quiet, almost peaceful. At least, it could have been that way. But after another restless night of horrific dreams that clawed at his very core with guilt and regret, Sasuke was unable to go back to sleep, and he wished he had never woken up. Ever.

Normally when this happened he would just roll over and tap Naruto on the shoulder. The blond would then wake up and pull him close, whispering that it would all be okay and that he loved him more than anything in the world. They would talk about his dreams and Naruto would kiss away his tears and hold him close until he fell back to sleep.

Unfortunately, Naruto was out of town. It was only a short visit to Sunagakure to discuss important Kage things with Gaara. Less than a week, Naruto had said, but for Sasuke, it felt much longer.

He kicked off the quilt with a soft groan, slowly sitting up. His heart still pounding in his chest, he sat up and rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his palms. He liked the way it felt, so he pressed harder until it hurt. He ground his palms into the sockets until they hurt as much as his heart did. 

A sudden breeze came through the open window, rustling the curtains and sending chills through his aching body. He shivered, groping about for his robe. Wrapping it around himself, he silently stepped out onto the balcony in his bare feet in the hopes that the fresh air might help him relax.

Gazing down at the vaguely familiar silhouette of the village in the cold moonlight, Sasuke's discomfort kicked in once more. He was always anxious when it came to leaving the house alone, knowing all too well that so many shinobi still wished he hadn't returned after the war. He too often wondered if he had made the right choice in coming back to where all his pain had begun, to where he was not wanted, but Naruto's love for him had won over all that pain. Or had it? 

He still felt that pain as deeply as the day he had come home to find his brother standing over the slain forms of his parents, perhaps even deeper now with time. If it had remained that simple, he believed he would have been able to handle it, but now that he knew the truth, that his brother had done it out of love and that he had still killed him, it was too much. Too much hatred and anger and sorrow for one man to handle. 

Another bitter wave of despair washed over him, and his knees gave out. There on the balcony, just past three in the morning, the dams of courage gave way to the torrential rains that had built up over the past years. At first, the salty tears came in fits and bursts as Sasuke struggled to stay strong, but he was too exhausted to care and let them pour down his pale cheeks as he choked and sobbed. He cried and cried until he couldn't cry any more, and when that time came he just sat and stared off into the darkness as if nothing else mattered.

After a while he stood up, stumbling blindly to the bedroom door and down the steps to the medicine cabinet in the main floor bathroom. Flicking on the light, he stood over the sink, squinting to see his rather gaunt reflection in the mirror without his glasses. Shakily, he splashed some water on his face. His eyes were still red from crying, and it was obvious that he had been neglecting to shave every morning. He looked as he felt -- hideous.

Clutching the countertop, he grabbed a long piece of toilet paper off the roll and found a pen in the pocket of his robe. He began to scrawl a note on the paper.

"I'm sorry. Don't cry. Don't remember me for this. Remember the good times. Thank you for everything. Your teme, Sasuke."

He paused, squinting at his messy handwriting. 

"P.S. I love you."

There, that was better.

He set the note on the counter in plain sight, then stared into the mirror once more. This was the last time he would ever have to see the pain in his own eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Usaratonkachi," he whispered, then grabbed the nearest bottle of pills. Without reading the label, he swallowed a handful.


	2. Chapter 2

"Sasuke? Hey, Sasuke, are you in there?" Sakura called, knocking on the bathroom door. He wasn't in his bedroom or the garden or the kitchen; she had already checked there on her daily visit to make sure he wasn't lonely and had noticed the light was on in the bathroom. Rather puzzled upon receiving no answer, she slowly opened the door. 

On the floor lay the motionless body of her friend, an open bottle of pills in his left hand.

"Oh my god!"

Medic-nin instincts kicking in, she immediately checked for a pulse. Nothing. Wait, no, there was a pulse. Very faint, but still there. He was still alive! 

She pulled out her cell phone and called the hospital directly. As she waited for someone to answer, she murmured, "C'mon, Sasuke. Don't die on me now..."

"Hello?"

"Oh, yes, thank god. This is Chief Medic Haruno. I'm at Lord Hokage's place, and Sasuke has attempted suicide. He's still alive, but he's barely hanging on! Send an ambulance now!"

"Yes ma'am. An ambulance is on its way now. How exactly did he try to kill himself?"

"Looks like an overdose of sleeping pills."

"Okay. I'll let the EMTs know. Do you want me to stay on the line?"

"No, that's fine. I know it's against protocol, but there's nothing else you can do."

"Okay. I hope Mister Uchiha will be alright. The ambulance should arrive any minute." Click. 

"Me too," she whispered as distant sirens alerted her of the ambulance's arrival. "Me too."


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, Sakura hurried about her business as usual, but couldn't help but worry about her friend. She knew that the two medics she had assigned to him -- Masaru and Amaya -- were very competent, having trained the pair herself, but she also knew that he hadn't woken up yet. She had instructed Amaya to update her on Sasuke's condition every hour -- or immediately if he were to wake up -- while she worked in her office on the mountains of paperwork, and so far, nothing had changed.

Setting down her pen and rubbing her aching wrist, she rose from her chair and walked to the window. It was raining again. Hopefully, word of Sasuke's condition would reach Naruto soon, and he'd come running back home. 

"Um, Miss Haruno?" a hesitant voice called, knocking on the door as she opened it. "He's still unconscious, but his vitals have stabilized some."

Turning to look at the short, round brunette, Sakura forced a polite smile. "Thank you, Amaya. You may go."

"Yes, miss," she replied with a nod, tawny curls bouncing as she walked away. 

Sakura let out a deep, shaky sigh, returning to gazing out the window into the rain. Her office had a relatively pleasant view of the front entrance to the hospital, lined by trees and shrubs. Today, however, everything was gloomy and gray. No one was out in the park across the street, and no birds perched on the feeders she had hung outside the window. As she stared vacantly with her hands clasped at her waist, her vision began to blur. A quick stubborn swipe at her eyes prevented any tears from falling, although they continued to burn. 

Just as she was turning back to her desk, she saw a faint orange blur approaching. It was Naruto! 

"Oh, thank goodness!" she exclaimed, running out of her office and down the steps to the front door.


	4. Chapter 4

He stumbled blindly through the door, cheeks damp with rain and tears. Heart pounding in his chest, he looked around for an employee who could tell him where Sasuke was. 

"Naruto! You're here! Oh, I was so worried you wouldn't make it back until after the storm!" Sakura exclaimed, running up to her blond friend. She grabbed his arm and began leading him down the first hall on the left. "Sasuke's room is this way. He's in a coma, but his vitals are pretty stable. I made sure two of my best medics were in charge of his care."

"Okay, that's good, right?" Naruto asked, a little disoriented by Sakura's rushed greeting. He sniffled, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his Hokage robe.

"Yes and no. The fact that his vitals are stable and improving is a good sign, but he isn't responding to anything around him."

"I-is he... Is he gonna die?" Naruto asked, choking back a sob.

Sakura hesitated, not wanting to make her friend cry but also knowing the odds of her other friend's survival. "I, well, I don't know. There is a possibility, but we are doing everything we can to keep him alive."

"O-okay," Naruto breathed, lower lip trembling as he fought back tears. "C-can I see him?"

"Well, normally that right is reserved for spouses, children, or family members, but since his family is all gone, I think I can allow his boyfriend in. I'll introduce you to the nurses taking care of him, since you'll be seeing them a lot," Sakura said, knocking on a door numbered 169. A petite black boy answered the door.

"Hello, Masaru. Lord Uzumaki is here to see his boyfriend."

"Oh, um, yes, please come in, Lord Seventh," he said, opening the door wider so they could walk in. "I'm Masaru. I've been taking care of Mister Uchiha."

"Hi Masaru. You can just call me Naruto if you want, since I'm gonna be here for as long as I am allowed to stay."

"Okay, er, Naruto-san."

A chubby face poked out from between two sky blue privacy curtains, followed by a gloved hand to adjust her rectangular black glasses. Her sharp gray eyes flicked about the room before coming to rest on Naruto. Immediately, she dropped her gaze to the floor and stepped out into full view. 

"F-forgive me, Lord Hokage, I meant no disrespect," she said, staring down at her black Converse.

"Oh, no need to apologize! I'm just here to see Sasuke. You don't have to be all formal around me, cause I don't wanna disrupt your work. You've got an important job here, Miss..?"

"Amaya. And, um, I'm Masaru's girlfriend, too, so I know how miserable you must be right now. I'd be a complete mess if anything ever happened to Masaru-kun!"

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto agreed, punctuating his sentence with a harsh sniffle. 

"Um, would you like some tissues? Or maybe a paper towel?" Amaya offered, grabbing several off of a roll on the counter.

"Thanks."

"Well, since everyone knows everyone now, I need to get back to work. I really wish I could stay, but as Chief Medic..." Sakura said. "Sorry about this!"

After she left, an uncomfortable silence hung over the room, only disturbed by the rhythmic beeping of a heart monitor. 

"Um, I was just adjusting Mister Uchiha's sheets, so I'll get back to that..." Amaya said after a moment, tiptoeing back behind the curtains.

"Once she's done with that, we can move the curtains back and you can sit by him. Is that okay?"

"Sure," Naruto mumbled, dabbing at his eyes. Why hadn't he stayed home? Or taken Sasuke with him? If only he had, he wouldn't be here right now. More importantly, Sasuke wouldn't be here right now. He'd be at home, reading the paper while he sipped his tea, half-listening to how Naruto's day went at work. He'd be smiling behind that paper, content to stay where he was. He would be happy. He would be okay. None of this would have ever happened.


	5. Chapter 5

Two rainy weeks later, a gentle hand tapped Naruto's shoulder while he slept. He blinked, squinting through sleepy eyes to see who had woken him from where he had sat ever since he had arrived. It was Sakura, and she was looking rather grim. Standing behind her were the two medics, Amaya and Masaru, as well as Kakashi, Sai, and the remainder of the rookie nine. No one was smiling. 

"Huh? What's the matter? Is Sasuke okay?" he asked, panicking as he turned to look at the pale, gaunt face of his dearest friend. The heart monitor was still beeping steadily, and his chest rose and fell in silence.

"Naruto, it's been two weeks. There's been no improvement since you arrived."

"What?"

"We can't keep Sasuke on life support forever, Naruto."

"Wh-what? B-but he--"

"I know, Naruto. It's hard for me, too. I really, really don't want to do this, but it's time..."

"No! I won't let you!" he protested, clutching Sasuke's pale, limp hand protectively. "I won't let you kill him, I won't!"

"Naruto, I know this is hard, but more likely than not there will be some brain damage, if he's not brain dead already. He probably wouldn't be the same Sasuke even if he did wake up. He might not even remember you, and if he did, he might struggle just to get by every day. You might be doing him a favor," Sakura said softly, tears welling up in her green eyes as she spoke. "I can give you a few minutes alone with him, and then we'll have to say goodbye."

Naruto sank back in his chair, still holding onto his lover's hand. Hot, heavy tears streamed down his cheeks. For a minute, he sat in silence, letting it all sink in. Sasuke gone? Sasuke not Sasuke? Sasuke weak? Sasuke dead? Sasuke... 

"Ok," he whispered. "Ok."

"Ok," Sakura repeated. "Everyone can step out into the hall for a few minutes so that Naruto can have a moment alone with him."

As soon as the door closed behind the last person, Naruto could no longer hold back the sobs that burned in his chest and ripped right out of his throat. "Please, Sasuke! Please don't die! Please, just wake up!"

His only answer was the steady beeping from the monitor.

"Oh, Sasuke... I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I failed you, Sasuke. I promised you we'd die together, but I failed you. I wish I could have been there, I wish I could go back in time and change it all! I love you so much, Sasuke. I'll always love you. I'll always remember the times we spent together, when we were kids, during the war, and after I became Hokage. Do you remember when we first met? We hated each other so much... S-Sasuke..."

Lips trembling, he leaned over Sasuke's motionless form to plant a tender kiss on his mouth. "I love you, Sasuke. I'll never forget you."

A gentle knock came at the door before Sakura poked her head around. "Can we come in now?" 

Naruto merely nodded, sitting next to Sasuke and holding his hand with both of his own. The contrast of Sasuke's delicate, almost feminine pale fingers and Naruto's tanned and calloused hands on the starched white sheets reminded everyone that although they were so different, they were also very much alike. 

"Okay. Everybody can come on in and say goodbye now," she said, opening the door and letting everyone file in. Sakura took her place next to the monitors and devices that were keeping Sasuke alive, and Kakashi stood behind Naruto with a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"I guess I'll start, and we'll go around the room. Sasuke, I know you never really liked me, but you were a great teammate and a great friend. Your cynical commentary always made boring missions a little more interesting. Without you, none of us would be standing here today," Sakura said. "So, thank you for that, and for everything you've done."

"Sasuke, you're one of the best shinobi I've ever met. It was an honor to know you."

"Konoha won't be the same place without you, Sasuke."

"We'll really miss you, Sasuke!"

"Goodbye, Sasuke. I'll make sure my future kids know about you."

"You were a great student, Sasuke, and you've really surpassed me now. You are a gift to the world, and to your clan. Your father would have been so proud of you. Heck, he probably would have been afraid of you. Perhaps you'll see him and the rest of your family on the other side. Something tells me you're going to be a legend someday, and all the little kids are gonna play pretend as the great heroes Naruto and Sasuke. You will never be forgotten, Sasuke. I'm gonna miss you," Kakashi said, followed by a heavy sigh.

The nervous shuffling and fidgeting ceased entirely as Naruto stood on shaky legs. Still holding onto Sasuke's hand, he cleared his throat, forcing back tears as he began to speak.

"This man was, before he was my friend, a truly exceptional shinobi, and he will be regarded as such. A burial fit for a Hokage, with all the necessary formalities that he would probably pretend not to care about but would actually really appreciate. He will be buried with his family, with the people who sacrificed their lives for him. He will live on in our memories and in our hearts, and we will pass down those memories through generations to come. Everything I do from this day forward will be in his memory. Sasuke was a great shinobi, friend, and lover, and I will never forget him."

Pausing to turn and face his childhood rival, he continued, "Sasuke, you were my role model, my rival, my arch nemesis, and my best friend. You kept me on my toes, making me a better ninja. You gave me something to work toward, something I could see and something I could become. If it weren't for you, I don't know if I ever would have made it this far. I'd say that I never would have been able to live my dream, but my dream has changed from when you first met me. I still want to be Hokage, and I managed that, but you became a part of my dream. I wanted you to be my best friend, my advisor, and most importantly, my husband."

With those final words, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a rather battered looking ring. The silver ring with a red gem that had once belonged to Itachi. He slipped it onto Sasuke's hand, letting it sparkle in the light.

"I know you're not able to say yes, but I thought you should have this anyway. I love you, Sasuke. I always will," he whispered, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

Just as Naruto was about to give the nod for Sakura to pull the plug, he felt something squeeze back. He gasped, looking down. Sure enough, Sasuke's eyes flickered open, squinting under the bright hospital lights.

"Dobe," he rasped. "What the hell is going on in here?"

A wave of relief washed over everyone in the room, followed closely by joy. A crowd had gathered outside the hospital to mourn the loss of the unsung hero, but they soon turned to celebration after Sakura yelled the good news out the window. Naruto, of course, was overcome with happiness, his face a huge grin behind a waterfall of delight.


	6. Chapter 6

Sasuke watched the hugs and handshakes and happy dances all around him in utter confusion, completely lost as to why so many people were so happy to see him. And why was he in a hospital bed? He did a quick inspection of his limbs. All seemed to be in working order. His head felt a little heavy, but he figured that was because of whatever painkillers or drugs they might have given him.

"Oi, Usaratonkachi. Are you gonna stop bawling like a baby and tell me what the hell is going on, or do I have to ask someone else?"

"You don't remember?"

He thought a moment. He remembered Naruto leaving, then being alone for a few days, but anything after that was a complete blank.

"Nope."

"Well," Naruto began, "I think you had a depression meltdown or something, cause you tried to kill yourself. Sakura came in to check on you and found you on the bathroom floor with a bottle of pills in your hand. She got you to the hospital as fast as she could, but you were in a coma. She called me as soon as she had a chance, and I left in the middle of meeting with Gaara and ran all the way back. After that, I never left your side."

"Oh," he said. "So, why is half of Konoha in my room?"

"Because it had been two weeks and Sakura didn't think you were gonna wake up..." Naruto admitted sheepishly. 

"Huh. Guess I woke up at the right time, then."

"Yeah, no kidding. I almost had to plan your funeral."

"Almost."

"Yeah, so, uh... You might wanna look at your hand..."

"Hmm?" He looked at his right hand.

"No, no. Your other hand."

"Oh... Oh."

"Um, yeah, I guess I just figured you should have it, and--"

"Yes."

"Huh?"

"Yes, of course I'll marry you, dobe. I can't think of any reason not to."

"R-really?"

"Just shut up and kiss me, dobe."

Naruto did, and as he did so, he thought, "It's gonna be ok." Little did he know that Sasuke was thinking the same thing.


End file.
